Blog Tour: Give Me Something by Elizabeth Lee

Here’s the deal…I learned a long time ago that sometimes you have to use what you’ve got to make things happen. What I happen to have is a pretty smile, long legs and the ability to make men believe anything I say. Before you get on your high horse and start judging me, can you honestly say you’ve never batted your lashes at some guy for a free drink at the bar? That’s what I thought.

Keep in mind as I tell you my story of how I took it one step further. My story of lies, deceit, manipulation and love. Yeah, love. Believe me, it fits. Especially, when you factor in Nick and Tucker – one had my heart and the other one wanted it all for himself. Which one? Well, I can’t tell you that. It would defeat the purpose of the story. If I’m going to fill you in about me, Lila Garrison, and my life as a con artist you’re going to need to know all the facts, including the ones about the two guys who made me want to give up the life of fancy clothes, expensive jewelry, fast cars and easy money. Because sometimes, one person can give you something that’s more valuable than all of that.

If you’re still interested, stick around. Just remember, I’m pretty good at convincing people to do what I want, so if by the end of this whole thing you feel worked over, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

"I was pretty sure I was in love with Nick, falling for Tucker, and lying to them both." - Lila

A con artist, her sexy partner, an even sexier mark…and a bucket load of perfectly cheesy pickup lines. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a sucker for cheesy pickup lines; they make me laugh, and as Marilyn Monroe said, “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.” Give Me Something is Elizabeth Lee’s second novel, and I love this book just about as much as I love her!

Give Me Something is a perfect mix of deception, angst, love, and suspense. The storyline is original and draws you in from page one; I was so wrapped up in the mess between Lila, Nick, and Tucker that I read the entire novel in a matter of hours! I seriously couldn’t put it down. I would tell myself, “Okay Ash, one more chapter and then you need to get some shit done,” but let me tell you something – the only shit I got done that day was starting and finishing this book.

The characters are some of my all-time favorites, and honestly, I was a little worried that I wouldn’t be a big fan of Lila before reading this. She is the type of girl who knows just how beautiful she really is and uses it to her advantage. And while I think we can all agree that we’ve all used our looks to get our way at some point, I was concerned that she would come across an arrogant girl with her nose up so high it might as well be in the damn clouds. I seriously could not have been more wrong; there was not one time during this book that I disliked her. Sure, I don’t agree with her and Nick’s business of conning people but even with that baggage, she was still a likable character. That’s the sign of a talented author, y’all!

Nick and Tucker…where do I even begin?! My feelings for Nick were all over the freaking place because the guy just seemed like a sneaky, little bastard. I liked him and then didn’t like him…and then I’d forgive him, and then there was one particular scene where I was all, “OH HELL MOTHER FUCKING NO HE DIDN’T!!!” I hated him in that moment; and then Elizabeth throws another curveball right at my face and makes me regret screaming angry obscenities towards him! The only thing that kept me from forgetting which was up was Tucker Kline. Sweet sassy molassey! I absolutely adore him!! His cheesy pickup lines were adorable, and his whole persona is like a breath of fresh air. Well, a steaming hot breath of fresh air. Excuse me for a moment while I wipe the drool off my face and collect my thoughts………

Okay. Good enough.

Honestly, I could go on and on about this book but now I have Tucker Kline on the brain, and it doesn’t appear he’s going away any time soon. If you haven’t read Give Me Something yet, you’re missing out. Buy this book and buy it noooow! Oh and E, the irony is not lost on me that this book is called Give Me Something and you really did give me something – a badass read and a hot, new book boyfriend. ;)

PS – Just because of the pickup lines in this book, I thought I’d share my all-time favorite cheesy pickup line with y'all: You’ve got 206 bones in your body. Want one more?  

You know that made you laugh… :)

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**Enter to win signed paperback copies of both Elizabeth Lee novels, SHATTERED and GIVE ME SOMETHING here!**

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About the Author

Born and raised in the middle of a Midwestern cornfield (not literally, that would be weird), I've spent my entire life imagining stories. Stories where the right guy always gets the right girl, first kisses are as magical as they are on the big screen and anything is completely possible if you believe. 

Although this journey began years ago, it recently took on a whole new life. After years of devouring hundreds of romance, YA and new adult novels, I had an epiphany...I should write a book. And I did! My first YA/New Adult novel is out now!

If I'm not reading, writing, enjoying drinks with my amazing group of girlfriends or chasing around a sarcastically funny one-year-old, I'm probably watching television shows that were created for teenagers, while my husband teases that I'm too old to watch them. 

Elizabeth Lee I Facebook I Twitter I Goodreads

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Ten Tiny Breaths by K.A. Tucker

(Ten Tiny Breaths series, book 1)

Kacey Cleary’s whole life imploded four years ago in a drunk-driving accident. Now she’s working hard to bury the pieces left behind – all but one. Her little sister, Livie. Kacey can swallow the constant disapproval from her born-again aunt Darla over her self-destructive lifestyle; she can stop herself from going kick-boxer crazy on Uncle Raymond when he loses the girls’ college funds at a blackjack table. She just needs to keep it together until Livie is no longer a minor, and then they can get the hell out of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

But when Uncle Raymond slides into bed next to Livie one night, Kacey decides it’s time to run. Armed with two bus tickets and dreams of living near the coast, Kacey and Livie start their new lives in a Miami apartment complex, complete with a grumpy landlord, a pervert upstairs, and a neighbor with a stage name perfectly matched to her chosen “profession.” But Kacey’s not worried. She can handle all of them. What she can’t handle is Trent Emerson is apartment 1D.

Kacey doesn’t want to feel. She doesn’t. It’s safer that way. For everyone. But sexy Trent finds a way into her numb heart, reigniting her ability to love again. She starts to believe that maybe she can leave the past where it belongs and start over. Maybe she’s not beyond repair.

But Kacey isn’t the only one who’s broken. Seemingly perfect Trent has an unforgiveable past of his own; one that, when discovered, will shatter Kacey’s newly constructed life and send her back into suffocating darkness.

“I’d fix it all for you if I could. You know that right?” He whispers. I wonder if he’s talking about my scars or the last four years of my life.

“Yes,” is all I say. Yes to all of it.

5 BREATHTAKING, BEAUTIFULLY DAMAGED STARS.

This is one hell of a journey; it is a story of love, loss, healing, and the power of forgiveness. After Kacey loses four of the most important people in her life to a drunk driver, she refuses to let anyone get to close her again. If she doesn’t let anyone in, she can’t experience the grief of losing someone again. There is only one person Kacey wants in her life: her younger sister, Livie. When their uncle crawls into Livie’s bed one night, Kacey decides it’s time for her and Livie to get out of Grand Rapids, and start all over in Miami, Florida. While they are working on building a new life together, not one…not two… but several people, including her sex-on-a-stick neighbor Trent, manage to finagle their way into Kacey’s life and as hard as she tries, she just can’t shut them out. But when she finds out about Trent’s past, all the progress she has made comes crashing down into a suffocating heap of betrayal.

Sweet mercy, I am so in love with this book. The characters, each and every single one of them, officially takes up residence in my heart – Kacey, Trent, Livie, Storm, Mia, Dan, Ben, Tanner, Nate – I absolutely adored all of them for very different reasons. I honestly can’t remember the last book I read where I cared so exponentially not just about the main characters, but the secondary ones as well. I love reading about well-developed characters; the ones where it’s obvious that the writer is just as invested in the secondary characters, as they are in the main characters. Ten Tiny Breaths is a blinding example of wonderfully developed characters.

The chemistry between Kacey and Trent sent steam rolling off the pages, and their gradual relationship was refreshing. Sure, Trent was the one pumping the brakes every time things got heated between them, but it was nice to see their relationship evolve without sex overshadowing it. Trent’s ability to slowly break down the walls Kacey had built up was heartwarming, sweet, charming, and just plain freaking perfect. I love them together; love.

I will admit, I kind of had my suspicions on what Trent was hiding about his past and as it turned out, I was right. The thing is…I wasn’t even mad at him. My heart broke for him and Kacey in that moment but surprisingly, I didn’t cry! What?!? I know! The only part of this book that broke me down and finally turned on the waterworks was the scene with Kacey, Cole, a one-way mirror, and a tear-jerking apology. As much as I felt like I should dislike Cole, I couldn’t – not one ounce of me wanted to dislike him. He made a terrible decision four years ago that shattered his life just as much as it ripped apart Kacey’s, and I empathized with him…especially in that room.   

Ten Tiny Breaths is absolutely fabulous, and is definitely one that I will buying in paperback – who doesn’t need physical copies of their favorite books, even if they buy the ebook first?! This will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions, and show you the power of forgiveness, empathy, and closure. It’s incredibly moving…honestly, I can’t say enough about this book. Just read it. I promise you won’t regret it.

"Just breathe," my mom would say. "Ten tiny breaths...Seize them. Feel them. Love them."

PS – I think this novel paints a very ugly and very real picture of how driving drunk can not only change your life, but it can change the life of an innocent person who just happens to be on the road at the same time you decided to get behind the wheel after too many drinks. Would you rather spend the money on a cab ride insuring you get home safe, or risk hurting yourself and/or someone else…and then having to live with that guilt? Don’t drink and drive, y’all; believe me – it’s worth it to spend $20 on a cab.  

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The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Diagnosed with Stage IV thyroid cancer at 13, Hazel was prepared to die until, at 14, a medical miracle shrunk the tumors in her lungs…for now.

Two years post-miracle, sixteen-year-old Hazel is post-everything else, too; post-high school, post-friends and post-normalcy. And even though she could live for a long time (whatever that means), Hazel lives tethered to an oxygen tank, the tumors tenuously kept at bay with a constant chemical assault.

Enter Augustus Waters. A match made at cancer kid support group, Augustus is gorgeous, in remission, and shockingly to her, interested in Hazel. Being with Augustus is both an unexpected destination and a long-needed journey, pushing Hazel to re-examine how sickness and health, life and death, will define her and the legacy that everyone leaves behind.

“I’m a grenade. I just want to stay away from people and read books and think and be with you guys because there’s nothing I can do about hurting you; you’re too invested, so just please let me do that, okay? I’m not depressed. I don’t need to get out more. And I can’t be a regular teenager, because I’m a grenade.” – Hazel

JUST A FAIR WARNING: if you plan on reading this book, make sure you have an entire box of Kleenex ready to rock; you’re going to need them. All of them. I thought I could handle it, I thought I prepared myself enough. I didn't. This book didn’t just make me cry – it made me sob uncontrollably. I’m talking an ugly cry, where there are tears and snot and swollen eyes and you have to stop reading to mentally get your shit together because you can’t even see the pages through the waterfalls that have suddenly been installed in your eye sockets. I’m not kidding. Here's a little something to give you a visual of the mess that was my life during and after reading this novel:

 I’ve had a really hard time trying to piece together this review, which tends to happen when I read a book that just blows my doors off. This is one of those reviews where no matter what I say, I know it’s not going to be good enough. I’m not going to be able to convey to you just how much the story of Hazel and Augustus touched me. I don’t know that I can describe the gutted, heartbroken, “life isn’t fucking fair” feeling that overwhelmed me towards the end of the book. You know, I like to think that I’m pretty good with words, but there are some just books that leave you speechless, that touch you beyond belief – that make you realize, this is why I read!

The Fault in Our Stars is one of those books. 

I refuse to give away any spoilers so I won’t go too much into the plot, but the relationship formed between Augustus and Hazel is nothing short of spectacular. Their easy banter and ability to relate to each other’s issues makes for a heartwarming, funny, seemingly effortless connection. Augustus and Hazel’s relationship, however, wasn’t the only one that made my heart happy; the other was the friendship between Augustus and Isaac. Their quips back and forth to each other made me laugh out loud, and added a necessary element of comedic relief to what could have potentially been a super depressing novel. 

This is, without a doubt, one of my top 10 books of all time and I will forever recommend it to friends, family, co-workers...anyone within earshot of me, really. I'll stand out in front of freaking Barnes and Noble and ask everyone that comes out, "Have you read The Fault in Our Stars? No? Did you buy it today? No? Then you get your ass back in there and buy that freaking book!" I don't know how long Barnes and Noble will allow me to harass customers, but if that's what I have to do, then that's what I have to do. I guarantee this book will not disappoint you, and although you may look like an absolute train wreck after you finish, it’s worth it. It is worth every tear, every tissue, every sob, every smile, every laugh, every last bit of hope and heartache; it is sooo fucking worth it...

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The Story of Rachel by K.D. McLean

Rachel Collins is praying. And not for world peace. Thirty six years old and single, her prayer is self-centered. “Kill me now, Lord,” she pleads during her latest attempt to meet Mr. Right via the internet.

She’s not hoping for a billionaire or even a millionaire, just a guy who can strike a spark to her tinder! Is she asking too much? She’s a great gal! Just ask her parents! She might be a bit naïve about some things, but capable enough – she’s a correspondent for a major magazine, after all. So there!

On assignment she meets Michael, 42 years old, also a writer. The attraction is immediate and intense. Rachel, who sees vanilla only as a baking ingredient, enchants him. Michael can whip up some pretty hot delights himself, outside of the kitchen. He introduces a curious Rachel to powerful experiences of sensuality. Her Ladylike sense of propriety engages in a running battle with her now sparked Tinderbox desires.

Michael is an excellent cook and knows how to turn up the heat. Sampling the flavors offered, Rachel experiences humorous hiccups. On a date, Michael ramps up the risqué, resulting in a memorable skirt swirling salsa dance. Rachel’s “What the hell, I ain’t getting any younger” attitude spurs Michael to take her to the exclusive, adults only club, Pandora’s. Here, Rachel witnesses even more variations of earthly delights, and begins a lifelong friendship with another guest.

Michael is a realist, convinced that within 90 days, his affair with Rachel will be but another painful memory of loss. He is neither willing nor able to yell ‘Geronimo’ and fall for her. He can’t, and that’s that.

Maybe he should just get a damn dog.

**I was gifted a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review**

I’m kind of surprised that more people haven’t written books that involve the pitfalls and amusement of online dating. (Hell, maybe they have and I just don’t know about them). While I personally have never gotten involved in a dating site, my best friend has – and I seriously can’t thank her enough for the hilariousness that she has brought into my life with this online dating. She sends me some of the messages and pictures she gets, and it just kills me. (I won’t name which site, but it’s free so…I think that should tell you enough). Why am I talking about this? Well, because Rachel’s online dating experience seems to be just about level with my best friend’s – brutal, disappointing, yet pretty damn entertaining.

The Story of Rachel is a mix of BDSM, romance, and a dash of humor. Rachel and Michael’s relationship isn’t all rainbows and unicorns and dancing vaginas – it seems to fall the way most BDSM relationships do; man and woman meet, he introduces her to the world of D/s, the woman wants a relationship but the man has some sort of emotional holdback, the woman gives an ultimatum and/or leaves, then after a week-ish the man finally realizes this chick is the bee’s knees and gets over his shit. Not that I don’t enjoy that type of plot line, but it just seems to be getting slightly repetitive. I will say this though, I liked Rachel’s character a hell of a lot more than the shy, 20-something, virgin that numerous authors have used as their main female character in BDSM novels.

Rachel’s sense of humor was refreshing and pretty funny, and I think maybe I enjoyed her and Michael’s relationship because it didn’t ever feel immature. She wasn’t whiny or needy – this is a chick that knows what she wants and knows what she deserves; she’s a strong woman who has her shit together and I dig that. I can’t say that Michael is going in my book boyfriend category (I mean, I am in my mid 20’s and he’s almost old enough to be my dad) but that doesn’t mean I didn’t like him and Rachel together. The only real complaint I have involves Rachel’s inner monologue; her Ladylike and her Tinderbox. This reminded me so much of Ana’s “inner goddess” in Fifty Shades, which bugged the crap out of me. This is what I picture when authors use little characters to play out their thoughts: 

Ahh, Lizzie McGuire takes me back....ANY WHO....

I gave The Story of Rachel 3 stars because while most of the humor was funny, some of it felt contrived or forced. And while I did like Rachel and Michael as a couple, I had a bit of a hard time connecting with his character – maybe it was his age, I don’t know. All in all, I did enjoy The Story of Rachel, and if you’re looking for a book mixed with romance, humor, and a twinge of BDSM, I think you’ll like it too! 

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Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

(Warm Bodies series, book 1)

A zombie who yearns for a better life ends up falling in love – with a human – in this astonishingly original debut novel.

R is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams. He doesn’t enjoy killing people; he enjoys riding escalators and listening to Frank Sinatra. He is a little different from his fellow Dead.

Not just another zombie novel, Warm Bodies, is funny, scary, and deeply moving.

“I don’t know what happened. Disease? War? Social collapse? Or was it just us? The Dead replacing the Living? I guess it’s not so important. Once you’ve arrived at the end of the world, it hardly matters which route you took.” – R

I fell in love with a zombie.

Yep. My newest book boyfriend is a gray-skinned, brain-eating, escalator-riding, Frank Sinatra-listening, sweet-as-all-fucking-get-out, zombie. (He may also need to star in an episode of Hoarders, but I guess I’ll let him deal with one problem at a time, and the whole zombie thing seems a little more important.) I never expected to like this book so much and was beyond pleasantly surprised – the story of R and Julie was odd and a little bit creepy, yet wonderfully sweet and endearing.

R isn’t your typical zombie – he doesn’t enjoy eating people, he only does it because it’s necessary for him to remain alive…well…not alive, but you get the point. If he’s going to continue wandering the Earth instead buried beneath it, homeboy has to eat. While out on a “food run,” R finds Julie and has an overwhelming desire to save her – he could never have known that in actuality, Julie would be the one to save him.

Warm Bodies was the perfect combination of humor, romance, violence, and hope. I mean, it’s a romance, but come on – you can’t expect a zombie book to be completely devoid of gore and cringe worthy moments! The way Isaac wove details into the storyline was pretty perfect; I want to get a mental picture in my head without getting bored. One instance in particular sticks out in my head: the description of the stadium. This required pages of descriptive details for the reader to really grasp what this “stadium-turned-city” looked like…and never once did I find myself skimming. Isaac found the perfect balance between a scarcity and an overload of descriptive information.

The story line was compelling and original, and the characters were wonderful. I loved R’s charm and compassion, and Julie’s sarcasm and bluntness were a nice dose of comic relief. The gradual connection between R and Julie was wonderfully done, and I adored watching her grow more and more fond of him.

I really, really enjoyed this novel, and the ending made my heart happy. I can’t wait to see Nicholas Hoult bring R to life on the big screen next month, and am even more anxious to read the sequel! If you want a paranormal romance that will blow vampire boyfriends out of the water, pick up Warm Bodies and get ready to have a charming, unlikely zombie steal your heart. (He won’t eat it, don’t worry!)

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Bad Rep by A. Meredith Walters

“Who gives a damn about their reputation? Oh, that would be me! Especially since mine has gone straight to Hell in the span of thirty minutes.”

Maysie Ardin is soaking up the summer before her junior year of college, shopping, hanging by the pool, and shopping some more. But when her black belt in spending lands her in trouble with her parents, she is forced to take a second job at a local bar to dig herself out of a deep financial pit.

She thought she’d be miserable. But then Maysie didn’t count on Jordan Levitt, the hot, pierced and tattooed, drum playing bartender who also happens to be very interested in her. And the feelings are totally mutual.

It had the makings of the perfect romantic set up. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy has girlfriend? Okay, maybe not.

But attraction is a hard thing to ignore and soon Jordan and Maysie find themselves in the middle of a gossip induced firestorm. Maysie has to learn whether she can set aside her fear of public disapproval in order to be with the one she wants. Or will she let the opinions of others dictate her life and her heart?

**ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review**

“His voice was like liquid caramel. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do with him. I wanted no holds barred, throw-me-against-a-wall-and-pound-me-within-an-inch-of-my-life sex.” – Maysie

Maysie gets a little too swipe-happy with her credit card so after she racked up a $3,500 bill and royally pissed off her parents, she gets a serving job at Barton’s, a local bar, to earn more money and pay back her parents. Enter Jordan; the tattooed, pierced, bad boy-ish bartender. They are instantly attracted to each other, except there’s one little problem: Jordan has a girlfriend. And his girlfriend isn’t just anybody. After this new revelation, Maysie finds herself battling what her heart and her head are telling her to do; which will she let win?

You know those people who care more about what people think about them than how they actually feel? The people who will do things they don’t want to do, date people they don’t want to date, steer clear of confrontation at all costs because God forbid someone say something bad about them? The people who care more about their reputation than their character?

Well, you do now; Maysie is one of those people. She lives to please her constantly disapproving parents, keep her sorority sisters happy, and make sure her reputation stays intact. She lives in constant fear that someone will think badly of her. I gotta tell ya, it was a bit exhausting at times and there were several times I just wanted to reach through my Nook and smack her; the girl didn’t even necessarily like being in a sorority but stayed anyway because to her, it was a good way to meet people. I guess so? (I can’t speak firsthand, I was never in a sorority; I dropped out of rush week the second day when I found myself rolling my eyes at 90 percent of everything involved. Well, that and I didn’t want to stay away from the 3 B’s: boys, bars, and booze. Who wants to spend their first week on campus sober and surrounded by all girls? Not me.)

I was really torn on how I felt about Jordan. I ended up loving him, but really?! The dude says he’s crazy about Maysie, yet refuses to break up with Olivia?! That deserves a dick punch. I understand they’ve been together for a long time, but he gives perfectly good explanations as to why they aren’t good together anymore; so whyyyy is he still with her? Homeboy, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Pick a chick. He did manage to make it back into my good graces though, and ultimately I think he and Maysie are pretty damn great together. These are two people who, for the most part, really did try to do the right thing but failed miserably.

Bad Rep isn’t just an angst-driven romance – it’s about accepting the fact that you can’t please everyone. No one wants to be the source of whispers and rumors, but at some point you just have to tone it out. Live for you, do what makes you happy, and if somebody doesn’t like it…well…fuck ‘em. Throw in some incredibly panty-tingling sex scenes, bitchy sorority sisters, douchebag fraternity brothers, and a handful of genuinely great friends and you have the makings of a pretty great read.

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Troubles and Treats by Tara Sivec

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(Chocolate Lovers series, book 3)

Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives – well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.

With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren’t on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.

Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the disconnected duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple’s lives.

In the third installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that’s been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they’re having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?

*WARNING: This review does contain some colorful language. Because it's necessary. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.*

I have one word; HOW?! How in the holy hell does Tara Sivec continue to put out books that have me crying from laughter?! I can come up with only one logical explanation; I’ve said it before and you better believe I’ll say it again – Tara Sivec is an actual genius. She’s the kind of genius that talks about sexually curious ghosts, killer cats, and vibrator races.  If just those three things alone don’t make you want to read Troubles and Treats, then you should probably rethink your life decisions. Seriously.

I don’t think it’s any secret that I absolutely love all three of Tara’s books, however, I have a slight confession: I was a little nervous about this one. Don’t y’all throw your vibrators at me in anger just yet!! I was only nervous because I absolutely loved Claire and Carter in the first two books, and although I thought Drew was pretty damn hilarious, I never really felt much of anything for Jenny. I was worried that I wouldn’t connect with the couple the way I did with Claire and Carter, because let’s face it, the bar was set pretty high. Well, guess who ended up eating a nice, big piece of crow pie. This girl right here. (I don’t know if crow pie is a real thing, but you know what I mean…eating crow…eating your words…I think it’s a real kind of pie. Whatever, I give up.)

I love Drew and Jenny; love, love, love them! In the first two books of the series, here is basically what I knew about Drew and Jenny – he’s funny as shit and wears hilarious t-shirts, and she’s…well…she just gets a little confused sometimes; bless her heart. In Troubles and Treats, you get a more in-depth look into not only their relationship, but them as individuals. Jenny isn’t really as dumb as I thought she was in the first two books – and she’s actually pretty damn funny herself. Drew (maybe I should start referring to him as Meat Fairy) was funny as ever; between thinking his wife is faking an injury for workman’s comp to almost calling his own son a “cock blocking asshole,” his chapters had me laughing like an escapee from an insane asylum. Maybe I should have learned from the past two books in this series that unless I want people to stare at me like I’m a lunatic, I should probably read Tara’s books in the privacy of my own home. Not at my desk at work. Or in the waiting room at the dentist’s office.

I could probably list 264 reasons why I loved Troubles and Treats but considering it is finals week, I don’t have that kind of time. Or honestly, I’d probably just end up typing the entire freaking book and putting a headline above it that says “HERE IS WHAT I LOVED ABOUT TROUBLES AND TREATS”…and then I’m taking away from Tara’s book sales…and probably doing something illegal…and just being an all-around asshole. Well, I like to pride myself on not being an asshole (most of the time) and I would never do that to anyone, so y’all are going to have to just go buy the book yourselves.

I gave Troubles and Treats 5 vibrating, battery-charged stars, because once again Tara Sivec has made me cry from laughter. The Chocolate Series is by far one of the best trilogies I have ever read. EVER. Do y’all know how serious that statement is? Buy Troubles and Treats and read it right this second, if you know what’s good for you. Well, if what’s good for you is some vulgar language, sex, and ridiculous humor, that is. Seriously though, Troubles and Treats is just plain amazeballs; Tara Sivec and the Chocolate Lovers Series earn a STANDING O from me!!! And that’s O for ovation, not orgasm, you dirty birds ;)

PS – Yo, Tara! If you’re ever in the great state of Kansas, holla atcha girl!! I'll either take you out for drinks or to a KU basketball game; those are the only things to offer here :)

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Kiss Me by Jillian Dodd

(The Keatyn Chronicles, book 2)

I’ve always written scripts for my perfect life.

But no way could I have ever scripted this.

My life is so far from perfect, it’s not even funny.

All because of a stalker.

I’m at a boarding school where I have to lie about who I am.

I can’t see my family.

I’m tutoring a Hottie God that tortures me with his smile.

The most popular girl already hates me.

Bu there’s this boy.

This hot, sweet, sexy boy.

So I’m going to stop trying to script my life and just live it.

Because who knows how long I have left.

*I was given an ARC in exchange for an honest review*

“If only boys came with warning labels. Like, yours would be: Do not kiss when drunk. Riley’s would be: I’m going to sleep with you and your best friend, too.” – Keatyn

Okay, let me just start off by saying that if the boys at boarding school are all as hot, sweet, athletic, charming, adorable, funny and whatever other adjective I can think of, as they are in Kiss Me…I wish I would have known about that sooner. I probably would have begged my parents to send me away! Seriously. My bags would have already been packed and loaded in the Jeep. I would have been strapped in my seatbelt with bells and whistles on yelling, “Let’s goooooooo! Hurry uuuuuuup!” So to sum that up: Keatyn’s boarding school sounds like a feasting ground. And this girl’s hungry.  

Kiss Me starts off on the same night Stalk Me ends; Keatyn got a weak-in-the-knees kiss from Aiden on top of the Ferris wheel, she learned she made the dance team at her new boarding school, and starts to think that maybe this new life won’t be so bad after all. This second book in The Keatyn Chronicles takes you through the beginning of Keatyn’s journey in boarding school and follows her through new friendships, new relationships, and as if you couldn’t tell by title…lots…and lots of kissing.

For those of you who read my review of Stalk Me, you know I was 100 percent, all lady parts aboard the Team Cush train…and if you didn’t read my review, well, you should have. But now you know. I just loved Cush and I honestly didn’t think there would be any way Jillian would be able to sway me to another guy, no matter how many fine pieces of meat were roaming around Keatyn’s boarding school. Welp…Jillian Dodd, I underestimated your abilities to make an even swoonier (yeah, swoonier. I made it up, deal with it) character than Cush. So, in the words of Joey Tribbiani: “Hey Dawson. How YOU doin’??” ;)

I don’t want to give away any spoilers so I don’t want to say who she ends up with, but I will say this; I’m not a big fan of Aiden because he kind of acts like a girl, and I want Keatyn and Dawson to be together, get married and have lots of babies. Well, don’t hold me to that; who knows what kind of hotness creation will be in the next book to make me change my mind…again.

Here are a few other things that made Kiss Me pretty freaking great:

1)     “Keatie”

2)     Greek mythology references (I geek out hard when it comes to mythology)

3)     H.O.M.E.C.O.M.I.N.G.?

4)     The naughty librarian

Kiss Me was a good sequel to Stalk Me, and I can’t wait to read the rest of this series. The main reason I didn’t give Kiss Me 5 stars is because it lacked the suspense factor. We get little bits of information on her stalker, but he plays a pretty minor role in this book. I loved that there seems to be ends tying up with Brooklyn and Cush, and I must say, I was pretty dang surprised by both of those story lines. All-in-all, Kiss Me is another great read by the lovely Jillian Dodd. Is it too early to ask about Date Me??? ;)

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That Wedding by Jillian Dodd

(That Boy series, book 2)

The gorgeous engagement ring on my finger mimics my happiness.

I feel so sparkly, glittery, and full of promise, because I absolutely know he’s that boy.

The boy I want to marry. My prince. My happily ever after.

But then our pastor starts asking lots of questions.

His parents say I haven’t dealt with my past.

I have horrible wedding disaster dreams.

I can’t find the perfect dress.

I have to manipulate him to get my way.

My old boyfriend asks me to run away with him.

My best friend says I’m going to ruin everything.

And forever starts to sound like a really long time.

Which totally freaks me out and makes me question everything I know.

Should best friends get married?

Will my past affect our relationship?

Are my horrible dreams a warning?

Will I ever find a dress?

Could his sexiness be clouding my judgment?

Am I going to ruin everything?

Or is it just a case of cold feet?

And then I have to decide. Am I willing to give up on true love forever, or am I going to listen to my heart and marry him?

“Don’t brides know that white wedding cake and an open bar are the only two reasons people go to weddings?” – JJ

I started reading That Wedding on October 4^th. I was the maid of honor in a wedding on October 6^th. After seeing my best friend since 3^rd grade get married, and almost feeling like I was there for JJ and Phillip’s wedding, I think it’s safe to say I am going to encourage all guys to steer clear of me for a few weeks; this girl may or may not have caught wedding fever and I think my pupils have been replaced with hearts. Don’t worry, I’m busy working on a cure to fix it so I’m not walking around like a lovesick puppy; but while I’m busy doing that, enjoy my review of That Wedding!

I thought I loved Phillip in That Boy, but sweet mother of all that is holy…I love him even more after reading That Wedding!! I am usually partial to the bad boy or more rebellious guy in books (and real life) but Phillip made me veer into the other lane and fall hard for the “good guy”, no doubt about that! He is the perfect balance to JJ’s personality, and I mean could he be more perfect?! He’s incredibly sweet, he loves football and drinking beer, and he definitely enjoys a nice roll in the hay; yep, I’ll take him! ;)

JJ grated on me a little bit towards the middle of the book, specifically her night at Kegger’s. I just wanted to reach into the book, shake her and yell, “Do you realize what you’re doing?!? YOU ARE ENGAGED TO MR. PRINCE CHARMING! SNAP OUT OF IT, HOMEGIRL!!” Luckily, she came to her senses and grew up towards the end of the book, which put her back in my good graces. Their night on the swings made me tear up and was absolutely one of my favorite moments from both books combined; it’s just plain perfect.

In all honesty, there are just too many things that made me this book wonderful so I’ll just list a few of my favorites:

1)     Naughty Dream Week

2)     Freebies: if you’ve done it with a guy in the past, it doesn’t count against you (I have always been a strong enforcer of the freebie rule)

3)     JJ’s spider freak out; more specifically, her ramblings on what the spider was thinking/planning

4)     The STD story (I really thought I was going to die from laughter)

5)     The fuzzy socks

6)     Their actual wedding day

7)     The tradition of kicking off the holiday season with a trip to KC to shop and see the Plaza Lights (I’m from Kansas, and my family has been doing that exact same thing for as long as I can remember; shopping, dinner, and the Plaza Lights the weekend after Thanksgiving)

I really liked That Boy, but That Wedding took Phillip and JJ’s relationship to a whole other level and I just absolutely loved it! It will make you swoon like you did over your very first crush, grin like the Joker (only not creepy…I feel the need to stress that; NOT CREEPY), laugh your freaking face off, and maybe even shed a few tears. It’s an incredible book, and I absolutely cannot wait for That Baby! This is definitely a series that you need to read now! Just a fair warning though: it may cause you to turn into a huge, googily-eyed, lovesick mess of a woman but trust me…it’s worth it!

Oh, and in case you were wondering…I think my pupils are still hearts. Damn it!

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