Thursday, August 30, 2012

Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec

(Chocolate Lovers series, book 1)
Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he’s asleep) toddler a better life.
When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.
With Carter’s undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire’s panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.

“Why is it that I’m just now finding out my best friend went through a lesbian phase? Every time I look at her now I’m going to picture vagina-hand. A little hand that looks like a who-ha chasing me around the house and watching me while I sleep. Vagina hand is always watching. Vagina hand sees you.” – Claire

JESUS H. CHRIST! READ THIS BOOK AND READ IT NOW!!!! This is by far the funniest book I have EVER read. Yeah, you read that right…funniest book EVER! You know those rare books that you read and by the time you’re about 10-15 pages in, you’re already in love with it? Well, you’re in luck because Seduction and Snacks is one of those books. Just a warning to anyone planning on reading this in the future (which should be every fucking one of you): if you read this in public be prepared to get crazy looks from everyone around you. Why, you ask? Well, because you’ll be rotating between laughing out loud and squirming uncomfortably because you’re getting all hot and bothered. Trust me; it’ll happen.

Claire was a twenty-year-old college student that just wanted to lose her virginity. After a drunken one night stand with a smokin’ hot guy she met a frat party, she accomplished her goal and got a little more than she bargained for; a positive pregnancy test. Four years later, she is raising her son by herself, working at a local bar, and helping her best friend sell sex toys to earn some extra money. After years of searching for her son’s father or even just learning his fucking name, she gave up on the hope of ever seeing him again. Well, clearly fate has a weird way of making sure certain people’s life intervene, and in Claire and Carter’s case, it happened to them not once…but twice.

I can’t even tell you how much I love Claire!! She is absolutely one of my favorite female book characters EVER. She’s an honest, self-sufficient, brash, hilarious 24-year-old with a mouth like a sailor. (I’ve finally found a female character that swears and says inappropriate things about as much as I do. Hey, don’t judge me…I own my shit.) Do you know how long it took me to realize that I wanted to be best friends with Claire? I believe it was about 3 pages. I was 3 pages in, and saying to myself “If this was real life, she would be my homegirl. My BFF. My Bestie. My Ride or die. Whatever the fuck people are calling best friends now.” She has this kind of in-your-face personality, but when it comes to Gavin…and Carter…you see the loving, caring, soft side of her to balance out her brashness.

Carter was just wonderful. I loved him and his whole attitude towards Claire and Gavin made my heart smile! Speaking of Gavin…Christ on a cracker; that little boy is too fucking much!!! In a good way! He had my hysterics with some of his comments to Carter, and the back and forth between him and Drew had me rolling! Really, all the characters in this book were perfect: Liz, Jim, Claire’s dad, Jenny…they just added even more hilariousness to the storyline.

The steamy scenes between Claire and Carter were just fire. FIRE. Like, the kind of scenes that make you want to jump the next guy you see…or at the very least make you wish you were reading this in the privacy of your home…in your bed…with your JR and a fresh pair of batteries nearby. Ain’t no shame…*shrugs*

Seriously though, this book just plain fucking rocks. I don’t give out 5-star ratings very often, but this one beyond deserves it!! I wish I could show y’all how many parts of this book are highlighted on my Nook because it’s just ridiculous.  I know I said it already but if you haven’t read Seduction and Snacks yet, BUY. IT. NOW!!! I promise you won’t be disappointed! Tara Sivec, you are a fucking genius and if you ever need a new best friend, hit me up homegirl!

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