Thursday, December 13, 2012

Troubles and Treats by Tara Sivec


(Chocolate Lovers series, book 3)
Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives – well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.

With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren’t on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.

Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the disconnected duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple’s lives.

In the third installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that’s been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they’re having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?

*WARNING: This review does contain some colorful language. Because it's necessary. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.*

I have one word; HOW?! How in the holy hell does Tara Sivec continue to put out books that have me crying from laughter?! I can come up with only one logical explanation; I’ve said it before and you better believe I’ll say it again – Tara Sivec is an actual genius. She’s the kind of genius that talks about sexually curious ghosts, killer cats, and vibrator races.  If just those three things alone don’t make you want to read Troubles and Treats, then you should probably rethink your life decisions. Seriously.

I don’t think it’s any secret that I absolutely love all three of Tara’s books, however, I have a slight confession: I was a little nervous about this one. Don’t y’all throw your vibrators at me in anger just yet!! I was only nervous because I absolutely loved Claire and Carter in the first two books, and although I thought Drew was pretty damn hilarious, I never really felt much of anything for Jenny. I was worried that I wouldn’t connect with the couple the way I did with Claire and Carter, because let’s face it, the bar was set pretty high. Well, guess who ended up eating a nice, big piece of crow pie. This girl right here. (I don’t know if crow pie is a real thing, but you know what I mean…eating crow…eating your words…I think it’s a real kind of pie. Whatever, I give up.)

I love Drew and Jenny; love, love, love them! In the first two books of the series, here is basically what I knew about Drew and Jenny – he’s funny as shit and wears hilarious t-shirts, and she’s…well…she just gets a little confused sometimes; bless her heart. In Troubles and Treats, you get a more in-depth look into not only their relationship, but them as individuals. Jenny isn’t really as dumb as I thought she was in the first two books – and she’s actually pretty damn funny herself. Drew (maybe I should start referring to him as Meat Fairy) was funny as ever; between thinking his wife is faking an injury for workman’s comp to almost calling his own son a “cock blocking asshole,” his chapters had me laughing like an escapee from an insane asylum. Maybe I should have learned from the past two books in this series that unless I want people to stare at me like I’m a lunatic, I should probably read Tara’s books in the privacy of my own home. Not at my desk at work. Or in the waiting room at the dentist’s office.

I could probably list 264 reasons why I loved Troubles and Treats but considering it is finals week, I don’t have that kind of time. Or honestly, I’d probably just end up typing the entire freaking book and putting a headline above it that says “HERE IS WHAT I LOVED ABOUT TROUBLES AND TREATS”…and then I’m taking away from Tara’s book sales…and probably doing something illegal…and just being an all-around asshole. Well, I like to pride myself on not being an asshole (most of the time) and I would never do that to anyone, so y’all are going to have to just go buy the book yourselves.

I gave Troubles and Treats 5 vibrating, battery-charged stars, because once again Tara Sivec has made me cry from laughter. The Chocolate Series is by far one of the best trilogies I have ever read. EVER. Do y’all know how serious that statement is? Buy Troubles and Treats and read it right this second, if you know what’s good for you. Well, if what’s good for you is some vulgar language, sex, and ridiculous humor, that is. Seriously though, Troubles and Treats is just plain amazeballs; Tara Sivec and the Chocolate Lovers Series earn a STANDING O from me!!! And that’s O for ovation, not orgasm, you dirty birds ;)

PS – Yo, Tara! If you’re ever in the great state of Kansas, holla atcha girl!! I'll either take you out for drinks or to a KU basketball game; those are the only things to offer here :)

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